Are we over New Year’s Resolutions yet?

It’s 2017 and what better way to usher in the year than another instalment of Borderless Counterpoise. In this edition I have decided to tee off something that doesn’t directly pertain to music per se; New Year’s Resolutions.

Woop-de-doo… taxpayer funded carbon emissions

The person who was fun on December 31st but is pumping iron with a hangover that could kill a donkey on January 1st. The person who has smoked for 3 years but is waiting for the clock to stroke midnight before they give up the durries. The person who believes the miraculous crystal healings bestowed upon them from the ash of fireworks will instil the beginnings of an odyssey which will show them the many meanings of life. These are the people who recite nonsense phrases like “New year, new me.” “I’m waiting for the new year before I…” “Come January 1st, I’m going to…” and act indignantly, believing that the change of the calendar will also turn them into a completely new person.

And now, here is an emotion most of you who know me will think is completely disingenuous; sympathy. Because, I want to change. You, my beloved reader(s), probably want to change too. Maybe it’s a skill you want to acquire, or something habitual that irks your significant other or your family. Maybe it’s something more vain, like a crooked ear or warped nostril hair.

I can’t blame other humans for that. I want to change, too. I want to get better as a human. I want tidy nostril hair. I want to swim in a pool of Turkish Delight.

#nye #hashtag #dammit #hangover

The expectations behind life-changing ambitions that are dreamt up by these resolutioneers are often shallow and not thought out; they walk into a gym that takes a year’s worth fees and train twice. They quit smoking cold-turkey but smoke when they drink. They decide to read that book they’ve been meaning to read, but get halfway through the prologue before tearing it up in a fit of rage because they actually hate the fucking book. They usually don’t plan the steps to get to their goal.

This is not to say that resolutions don’t work, or that we shouldn’t change. You should change, yes you! Change now! I hate that thingy that you don’t like about yourself! But don’t go learn origami or some other pointless bullshit (EDIT: I’m sure origami has some cultural significance to some people, just don’t do it because you folded your napkin at the table and thought you were very fucking good at it, white boy). Do something useful.

So, go. Go change. Change as little or as much as you want. Do it now. Heck, do it later. Do it whenever you damn well please, because a change is as good as a holiday. Actually, holidays are way better. But for the love of all that is unholy commit to your change, not to something you said before you came-down off a three-tab’-high last year.


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